im sorry! im sorry for bugging you, you dont understand that this distance is killing me and i know i havent felt it but i feel like i need your arms around me locking all the pieces back together. i need you to squeeze me so tight and just stay with me. but i cant so im sitting here tears rolling down my face and im so frustrated i cant cope.
i hate myself right now. nothing is going right and its killing me, ripping my insides to see how much of a failure im becoming . how im breaking down and uncontrollably consumed by emotions i cant even control. why am i crying i dont know why have i wasted today. i have too many feelings to even know where to begin. i have nobody to tell because no matter what nobody ever feels the same nobody knows what your going through. we all try understand and match up out pain but you are not me and i am not you so we can not feel each others pain.
the pressure has been building up and today its too much. Ive proven to myself that im weak. i need other people to pull me out. i dont want that i want to be strong on my own and not depend on other people.
Its not their job they shouldnt have to. and i cant ask.
this world is too fast and i cant deal with it any more. Im not strong enough to face reality. as each day goes past i realise how horrible life is and the real world is not a nice place…..